happily ever after
150 000 Norwegians (a crude estimate) are browsing Facebook friends-lists, groups and networks, looking for people they know and people they once knew. I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to people I used to know 10 or 20 years ago but no longer do, they kind of scare me. Who are they now? Do they even recognize me? Do they care? I therefore find the popularity of Facebook in Norway these days challenging and exciting. How do I relate to people I no longer know? I accept friends requests from friends of the past, and I'm happy when people add me (oh, she remembers me). I've been searching for old friends, but I don't know whether I'll add them unless they add me first. Facebook challenges my conception of my social life as constantly evolving; loosing some friends and meeting others. Are we all supposed to be friends for ever after in the future?
Labels: facebook, networking, socialising
4 Comments:
Some of my friends have chosen to stay out of Facebook bacause of the "old ghosts" thing, one of them describing his circle of friends as the result of a "natural selection process" that shouldn't be tampered with like this. But of course "unnatural selection" has its merits too, I had to remind him that he was the one who first got me into instant messaging when he moved abroad some years ago. I love being able to stay in touch with/ maintain awareness of people whom I'm seperated from by other means than "natural drift". (And sometimes it can be fun to have a peek at "the naturals" too...)
So technologies like IM and Facebook are uncomfortable and seductive at the same time. It's just as hard to "debuddify" someone on MSN or to decline a group invitation on Facebook as it is to stay away from these arenas in the first place. Also, it's interesting what role personality has in shaping the networks - I for instance, only add the people who are closest to me and thus I am dependent on more outgoing adders in order to get a network beyond that.
interesting question. i had a panic last night wondering who owns facebook and what they want with all my information, my usual 6 monthly interne panic ;-)
Thanks for sharing interesting thoughts hasund. I think social relations primarily end of two reasons: either because of lack of interest to stay in touch, "growing apart" so to speak, hence a deliberate end to a relationship. More often however, it is about drifting apart because one no longer share everyday social arenas. And then Internet came along.
Yes Trine, I remember one of those earlier panics :)
Sort of related:
I'm working on a chapter for a book about digital dilemmas. I focus on the dilemma we experience as active users of social and personal network sites: We can either put our privacy at risk by sharing expressions in more or less publicly available spaces. Or we can protect our privacy by not attending, but loose the personal and social values of having a presence.
Ok, I admit, I added a bunch of old friends and acquaintances and it feels good when they accept the friends requests. After all, it primarily serves to visualise a history of social ties?
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